A Father's Tears
by Staacey
Summary: Spoilers for Force Awakens: Han on hearing the news that his son has gone to the Dark Side.


_Ok if you have not watched Star Wars: The Force Awakens stop and do no read. This does contain Spoilers for the story plot. You have been warned._

 _I do not own Star Wars and I will not make any money from this. I am too scared of Disney's Lawyers to even think that I could._

 **A Father's Tears**

"...gone…Dark….he….killed….all dead." The words buzzed in Han's ears as he watched the hologram of his brother-in-law.

He could see deep lines formed on Luke's face that had not been there before. His once bright blue now seemed to be twin dark pools of despair.

 _In his mind Han refused to acknowledge that this was one of his best friends and it was just a terrible phantom and he was having a nightmare. It could not be true. Not his son._

 _The day Ben was born had been one of the scariest but happiest days of Han's life._

 _Leia's pregnancy had been difficult from the start. Her morning sickness had been horrible to the point that the doctor had ordered her to complete bedrest when she was only three months pregnant._

 _With the infant New Republic only a few years old Leia had been working nonstop and pregnancy had not put a reprieve on her endless work load. When she was bedridden she had started making arrangements to work from home and her work continued without a pause._

 _When Leia was seven months into her pregnancy there was an emergency on Balmorra and because of her extensive work with the planet's government Leia was called out. The stress was too much for her body and she went into premature labor._

 _Han had gone to Durren the week before on Leia's behalf and had just arrived home when he received the urgent message that Leia was in labor and it was bad._

 _Han had pushed the Millennium Falcon harder than he had ever before. He coaxed and pushed every ounce of speed he could out her arriving in nearly half of the time it would have normally taken._

 _When he had finally arrived Leia was fortunately stable. At only seven months it was too soon for their child to be born. For the next two weeks the doctors continued to administer medication to keep Leia from going into labor but at the end of two weeks the child was ready to come into this world._

 _The doctor decided it was best to perform a C-Section to lower the risk for the already premature baby and reduce any further stress._

 _Han stood next to Leia's head tightly holding her trembling hand as the doctor began the procedure to bring their child into the world._

 _He could hardly breathed as the doctor began cutting into Leia and could feel every muscle in his body tighten up. He felt sick and light headed from the fear and anxiety he had felt for the past two weeks._

 _What would he do if he lost Leia and their child?_

 _Then he heard it._

 _The small baby's cries filled the room and it was the most wonderful thing Han had ever heard. They were strong powerful cries and they filled Han with hope that everything would be alright._

 _The doctor looked over at Han and Leia with a wide grin._

" _It is a boy," he announced. "A healthy baby boy."_

 _Han watched in all as the doctor and nurses quickly went about cleaning the newborn up._

 _Suddenly one of the nurses stood in front of Han a small blue bundle in her arms._

" _Mr. Solo would you like him?" The nurse asked as she began to hand him the baby._

 _He awkwardly held his son in his arms and stared down at him in wonder. He was so tiny Han was scared he would break into a million pieces if he held him too hard but at the same time he was scared that he would slip from his arms and fall. He was perfect in every way and Han knew instantly that he would do anything for the tiny baby he held in his arms._

 _He looked over at his wife resting on the bed and felt the love he held for after all these years grow even stronger. They had created something amazing together._

" _Does he have a name?" The doctor asked after he finished with his work._

 _Leia smiled and looked over at Han._

" _Yes," She replied. "Ben. Ben Solo."_

 _Shortly after she found out she was pregnant Leia had broached the subject on what to name their child. It was her idea to name him Ben if it was a boy in honor of Obi-Wan Kenobi not only because he was a great Jedi but also because when he had hired Han to pilot Luke and himself to Alderaan he had made it possible for Han and Leia to meet._

 _Han gently handed Ben to Leia and felt more happy and content looking at the pair than any other time in his life. Every hardship and pain he had felt throughout his life had been worth it just so he could be here to great his son on his first day of life._

 _Han felt something wet trail down the side of his face as he watched his wife hold their son._

 _Everything would be alright from now on, the universe was perfect._

"I have failed him." Han heard Luke's voice crack from the hologram. "I am so sorry."

He is wrong Han thought to himself. His son, his precious little boy who could spend hours in his chair in the Millennium Falcon spinning in circles while making blaster noises would not fall to the Dark Side.

Han looked at the Hologram and noticed how the rim of Luke's robes were stained a dark red and felt horror raise up in him.

"No," Han said his voice barely audible.

Luke entire body flinched inside the hologram.

"It was him," Luke said his voice trembling. "It was all on the security footage. He slaughtered everyone even the younglings."

Han felt bile rise in his throat at Luke's words.

"Show me," Han demanded.

Luke shook his head.

"Han you don't want to see this," Luke pleaded to him.

"Luke we deserve to see proof." Leia spoke up for the first time. "He is our son."

Luke nodded his head before he disappeared from the screen only to be replaced by the image of Ben Solo.

Han and Leia watched on in horror as their son stalked the halls of the Jedi training ship slaughtering everyone in his path. When he arrived at the nursery Leia began to sob hysterically and could watch no more.

Han did not once glance away and watched every second of his son's transformation into a monster. He did not blink and scarcely breathed as he watched in horror.

"Why are you doing this Ben?" asked a young Jedi apprentice who was only a few years younger than Ben.

"Ben is dead," came the harsh reply. "I am Kylo Ren."

The blood red lightsaber was thrust into the boy's heart instantly killing him.

When it was over Han stared numbly at the hologram platform.

What had happened to his little boy?

When Luke's image flickered back into place Han took no notice of it. After a while Han stumbled out of the room ignoring Leia's calls for him.

He somehow made it to the Millennium Falcon where he found a old bottle of unopened Corellian whisky he had been saving for a special occasion. He quickly opened it and gulped half of the contents in one go.

As he sat on the floor of the ship's gallery he spotted the flickering image of a hollovid that was taken of Leia, Ben and himself on one of their rare vacations together. The smiling faces no longer looked happy but mocking and spiteful.

Han felt hot tears pour down his face as he stared at the holovid.

He took another large gulp of the whisky and felt the liquid burn down his throat.

His shoulders began to shake as he sobbed over the nearly empty bottle.

He had lost his little boy and he could not protect him from the sins that he had committed.

Soon Han felt his eyelids grow heavy and he welcomed the oblivion of a alcohol induced sleep.

 _ **Thank you for reading this. I just finished watching Episode VII and had the urge to write this. I hope you enjoyed.**_

 _ **By the way I refuse to think Han is Dead and have firm belief that he somehow survived!**_

 _ **Long Live Solo!**_


End file.
